Monday, December 23, 2013

會過去的

回到家裡的第一晚,開始下雪。夜靜無人的晚上顯得更寂寞。失眠的我,對著窗外呆望...啊,鄰家的屋頂,花園,馬路,全都被雪蓋著。

這場雪下來前都沒有什麼先兆。 天文台也好像沒有預測到它的降臨。像他一樣,在我最不為意的時候,走到我的生命。我沒有任何準備,任何防範,走進了這場戀愛。我站在門外看著那瓢雪,感覺到我的心,也在被這場雪抹埋。

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雪花瓢下來時,真的很美。我伸出雙手,想要接著它,但它在我手心不夠一秒,溶了。一片又一片的雪花瓣在我的手中消失,再也看不見了。

我從地上拾起雪來。我把雙手握緊,想要把它留住。但我手握得越緊,它溶得越快無奈的我,唯有繼續呆望,希望天氣寒冷多兩天,當作給依依不捨的我多一些憐憫... 最後,天氣變暖了。雪變成了雨水,把所有一切沖走。



也許,這是我不敢哭的原因。我怕我哭完了,我會不再傷心。我怕我的眼淚會帶走他在我心裡唯一的痕跡...






又或者,他真的像雪一樣,越想捉緊他,他消失得越快... 或者,這一切,真的會過去的...

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Berlin

5 years ago, I started my first mileage run adventure. It was a trip to Germany with a few of my best friends. We started off spending a night in the Sea-Tac Airport, flying out to Chicago at 6am, hopping over to London Heathrow, and then landing in Frankfurt. After a couple of days, we took a train to the country's capital city - Berlin.


Berlin Hauptbahnhof

Berlin is quite an overwhelming city. From the Reichstag to the Brandenburger Tor, to the infamous Berlin Wall and buildings on the streets with gunshots from World War II, the city is marked with scars from her excruciating past. As I listened to our tour guide during the walking tour, I can almost see the Russians marching down the streets during Hitler's final day. I can hear the rifles and guns firing, the wounded screaming for help and dying. I cannot even begin to imagine all the heartbreak as loved ones were taken away, or the fear of people as they struggle to hold onto dear life...

Berlin Wall

... But there was more to the city. There was hope. I remembered a metropolis - one that is modern and vibrant and lively. People who live in the city are upbeat and friendly (just be aware of strangers with fake potato-sack babies). Old buildings were being refurbished to pre-WW2 state to reminisce a glorious past. It was a city just as big and as colourful as any other major city in the world. It boggles my mind how incredible that really is - a city beaten and divided until 20 years ago, this city has recovered and is living better than before.

Reichstag

Maybe this is a reflection of how life should be lived. No matter how your past might have been, you need to look forward and keep moving. You let your scars remind you of the past, but not to hold you back from pursuing your dreams and living life to the fullest, and certainly not to be haunted by it.

Brandenburger Tor


I love Berlin.


Wonderful pictures by Daniel Cheung. Visit him at www.danielduck.com!

Friday, December 20, 2013

牽著

我漸漸習慣了每天都牽著他的手。

我們在布拉格開始的。那天我們到 Christmas Market。那裡人真的很多,而且在歐洲人群中,我的個子比較小。別人一推開我,我便看不見他們。當我還在找他們的時候, 我感覺都有一個人抓著我的手,用力的把我拉向他的身旁就是這樣,我牽著他,走過布拉格的古城。

布拉格的 Christmas Market

我開始發覺,其實無論我走到那裡,他都無時無刻留意我的。雖然他看起來好像不在乎,但每當我不知不覺放慢腳步東張西望時,抬頭一定會看見他在等我。也有一次,我拍照時突然有一班人在我們中間走過。我遠遠看著他轉身發現我不見了那個擔心的樣子,然後找到我變得輕鬆的樣子,心裡便知道其實他有多緊張我。他向著我走過來,微笑跟我說:別亂跑了…!” 我也只能夠聽他的,因為我想那一刻我開始愛上了他。

那天晚上,開始下雪了。在布拉格無人的夜景裡只有我們。他看見我覺得冷了,便再牽著我。


我問:你不要把我放開,好嗎?

 “我怎會把你放開?


從此以後,我走到那裡都被他牽著。在那一刻,我相信,我是全世界最幸福的女人。



Monday, December 16, 2013

聚散,分離。

今天我要走了。他上班前輕輕敲我的房門。


早晨啊怎樣了,睡得好嗎…?”
嗯。我微微的點頭。
我要走了。今天你也要走了。保重啊!


他怎可以說得那麼輕鬆?我狠狠的望著他的眼睛,努力去找他傷心的證據。他好像發現了,便輕輕的抱了我一下,然後親了我的額頭一下。



這樣只會令分開更難過。

12月16號,天空像我的心一樣,都是雨天。

我緊緊的抱著他。我想記住他的暖,他的氣味,那個心跳的感覺我想永遠留著這一刻。最後,我還是笑著說:好吧。那希望今天上班不太忙吧!

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就是這樣,他轉身便走了。我呆坐在床上,聽著他的腳步聲越來越遠真的走了。他把我所有的知覺也帶走了

我整天的魂魄都不見了到我再有知覺的時候,我已經坐在黃昏的車廂內。當火車門關上時,我的心也像被關上了。

其實,這樣的心痛也好。這樣證明我有用心的去愛,我還沒有因為過去的聚散分離而變得麻目。



希望,他也會有一點心痛吧。