Cupcakes

"Oh my God, I made it to Grand Central Station!" I sent this message to him along with a picture. "Look!"

"Good, I'm glad you finally made it..! Did you find your friend?"

"No...! He sent these instructions that I couldn't make any sense of... and... there are so many people here!! And... coming to New York from there is such a culture shock!! Gaaahhh!!!"

"No, the two places are EXACTLY the same. I don't know what you are talking about." He replied sarcastically.

"And then... and then... I got distracted by cupcakes....!!"

"Haha, what's with you and cupcakes?" He laughed.

---

I am actually not quite sure where my fascination with cupcakes began. I don't remember liking sweets that much; not before I went to Japan, and certainly not after, since I got accustomed to Japanese cheesecake and desserts. Even as I grew up, when eating cheesecake was the "hip" thing to do, I never really got into it. I don't think I've ever looked at cake and thought - I need it now.

But somehow, that day, I just stumbled across this little cafe that sold cupcakes. It was cold, and I've been wandering around aimlessly for a while. I just wanted to find a place where I can sit quietly, stare into space, drink some coffee, and scribble some thoughts into my journal.  This place has such cute decor, I thought. Perfect place to write my fairy tale.

I walked in and sat at the most princess-y corner I could find - Yes, Japan has turned me from a tom boy to a girly-girl. I headed over to the counter and saw all these different cupcakes. The only word I recognized from the past few days of staying there was coffee, so that's the one I chose. And I thought, it would probably go well with, well, a cup of coffee.

I hid in the corner with that cupcake and my coffee. My eyes were tired from tears rolling down my face uncontrollably all morning. I realized at that point that I had no appetite. I didn't even want to move. I was flatlined.

Then, I took a bite. It was so sweet.

The sweetness covered up the saltiness of my tears, and the bitterness in my heart. At least, for that short while.

I took another bite. And between my tears, I would smile just a bit. Just enough to make me think of all the fun times I had on this trip, and stop being upset for a short while....

I saved the last bite. I didn't want to eat all of it. I wanted to write my fairy tale while I still remembered it. I kept writing random thoughts that popped up in my head, trying to recall what happened, trying to give myself some validation that everything happened, and it wasn't just a dream...

...I finished my notes and the last of my coffee. I left my coffee there too long and it tasted a bit bitter and sour. I didn't eat the last of my cupcake.

Ever since then, I've been trying to find that cupcake again. I need that cupcake to resurrect me from my flatline. I need that cupcake so that I don’t feel so bitter for a while.

I guess… I need that cupcake to cover up the fact that I still miss you.

Smoothies Under 300kcal: Banana Almond Smoothie

So recently I've been making a smoothie almost everyday. These are delicious treats that I make for breakfast, for dessert, or anytime during the day when I feel like a energizing snacks! They are filled with vitamins and minerals, and will keep you fueled for like the energizer bunny! I just throw things in a blender and see how it turns out. Today's experiment turned out well, so I thought I'd share my findings with you!

I present to you... Banana Almond Smoothie!

- 200mL skimmed milk
- 80mL fat-free yogurt (vanilla or plain)
- 15mL almond butter
- 1 banana

Blend yogurt and almond butter together (put the yogurt in first, so the almond butter doesn't stick to the bottom of the blender).

Add milk and banana. Blend some more!


And within 5 minutes, you have a nutritional breakfast ready to go! Pour it in the mug, and enjoy it while you are stuck in traffic on your way to work!

Optional:
- Add 2 dark chocolate squares to curb that sweet tooth of yours
- Freeze banana overnight to give the smoothie a thicker texture

Here's the best part - it's drink is only 298 calories, and it's packed with protein, calcium, and iron!

Who says healthy can't be delicious? =D Enjoy!!

You Only Live Once

"I met the most incredible guy lately. He is charming, funny, intelligent, and caring. And did I mention? He is also really, really good looking." she says.

She goes on about how she met the guy through some mutual friends, and that after a couple of casual "meetings" over coffee she found that they had a lot in common, and how she thinks she is really falling for him.

"Wait, you don't want to do that. Make him call you. You don't want to seem too desperate..." the other girl said, in response to whether or not she should call him to make plans for dinner.

Wait. Desperate? What do you mean, desperate? When has society started equating showing affection towards someone as desperate?

"Yah, like, you gotta play it out. Make him miss you. Make him do the calling. If he is into you, then he would..! Or else you'd be too easy. Ooorrrr he'll think you are a crazy psychotic bitch who is always trying to get his attention, so you gotta make it harder for him..!"

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

I know, I know. We are women in our late 20's (as if that means anything), and society starts to give us all sorts of crappy labels. And apparently for women who are single, this label desperate becomes applicable. But seriously, how does something as beautiful as wanting to love someone full-heartedly get such an ugly name? Loving someone should be simple. You meet someone along this path you call life who you have determined to be worthy of your love, so you want to take care of them and make sure they are OK, because if they get hurt, your heart hurts too. But if they are happy, so are you. You would do anything to make them happy...

Unless, you are really loving someone for yourself.

You let your pride and arrogance get in the way of loving someone. Why am I always giving? If he cares, then why can't he call? 

Now, you've made this all conditional. You won't give him your love if he doesn't love you back. Now, you just want him to fall in love with you. You've placed yourself higher than the other person, because now the other person doesn't deserve your love if he doesn't prove his worth. If he's not good enough for me and falls short of my standards, then I'm being desperate. F*ck that, I'm not desperate. He can call me.

Life is too short not to be genuine. I don't have time to love those around me, and then pretend not to. I don't have time to chase people around and play these silly games. If I fell in love, I'm not afraid to admit it. If I miss someone, I'm not afraid to show it. Because - YOLO!! That's right. You only live once, and for some people, it really is too short. Being able to love someone is the best feeling in the world. It doesn't mean I'm desperate, it means I am strong, dependable, and capable. We are capable of loving with an open heart and taking our happiness into our own hands.

I mean, I'm not going to lie, it would be nice if the other person loved you back... but the two aren't really dependent on each other, are they? Plus, if you loved him with all you have and he trashes it, then you can confidently say that he's the jackass, and you are still adorable. ^_^

(Photo credits to my talented friend Daniel Cheung. View more of his amazing work at http://www.flickr.com/photos/duckducksnap/)

都是一樣的

我已經 2 個月沒有寫日記了。

你知道嗎？你真的是個很特別的男生。很多人都誤解我，覺得我堅強，獨立，所以不用照顧。又或者，因為我對很多東西都有點挑剔，那很多人便說，“呵，反正我沒所謂，你決定吧！” 又或者，很多人有問題的時候都會問我的想法，我也會將心比己把自己的意見說出來。總之，在別人眼中，我絕對不是一個被照顧的人。

之後，我認識到你。那次你看到我的機票的目的地錯了，提我趕快把它要改了。可能對你來說，這是個很小的細節，但是我真的很少這樣出錯，而通常只要我說沒問題的時候大家都不會 check, 不會在意。而的而且確，他收到我的機票的時候也擦覺不到... 所以我便覺得你比我身邊的人更在意我。

我也真的覺得我是一個獨立的女生，所以要我不聞不問的跟著一個人，真的不容易。就正因為我對很多東西都很挑剔，所以我也不會隨便信任別人。誰知你的要求，你的警覺性比我更高，所以跟你一起時我很放心，覺得很安全... 在你身邊我變了一個小孩。連我自己都不相信，我也可以依賴別人的。

其實我很想把那段日子的點點滴的都寫出來。直到今次再見你，你對我的冷淡令我覺得原來在你來說，一切到沒有發生過... 這一種心痛我一個人真的無法承受。每一次我對著電腦，想把這故事寫得像韓劇那樣動人的時候，我只會哭。要寫得真實，便要切底的痛。因為，我發覺，對你來說，我們這些女生都是一樣的。



原來，你跟他們都是一樣的。