Fairy Tales

Why does it feel like there's no place I can call home? This world is so big, surely there is a little place for me me to stay...

I guess that's the problem is that this world is too vibrant. There are so many places I want to go still and so many places I want to see. Every place has some things that I love, and every place has something I hate.

I am also not from any place.I left my birthplace too early to call it home. I came to the place where I grew up too late to call that home. 

I... don't belong... anywhere

I somewhat feel happy for those people who can settle into one place and can call one place home. They say home is where the heart is, and right now, my heart pretty much anywhere but here. I feel as if I am drifting all over this rock just to find this feeling of home. The ironic thing is, it seems like the harder I look, the further this concept is away from me...

I guess some people also just settle because it's easier. It's scary to let go of what you know for sure, and to venture into the unknown. They are just happier to have a place they can call home, and just happier that things are more "stress-free" in general. I have a job, I have a place to live, I am content. What can be better than this? What can possibly go wrong..?

But I just want an adventure! I want to see all the colours this world has. I don't want to be colourblind. I don't want to read other people's stories, watch TV, read novels, and be green with envy because really I wish I had the fairy tale-life they have exploring the world... I guess I am really hopelessly romantic that I really want to find a place that takes my breath away...

So f*ck it.... I am writing my own fairy tale.

福間海岸 Fukuma Seaside Park

"いっらしゃいませ (irrashaimase)!!" said the cafe owner.

I jumped out from my seat. "You are finally here!" I said to him. Naturally, I just ran towards him and gave him a really, really, big hug. I thought to myself, I don't care what anyone says: right now, you are mine.

---

I've been sitting at this cafe for about 2 hours now. I saw my friend's post on Facebook about Fukuma Beach, and wanted to go see it for myself. I asked if he wanted to come, but he said he was busy. I knew who he was with; if he wasn't with her, he would ask me to hang out with him.

I took the JR from Hakata Station. On the express trains, it took about 23mins to get to Fukuma. Fukuma Station is a big stop somewhere between Hakata and Kokura, so unless you take the limited express, you can't miss the stop. From the station, it was about a 25min-walk to the beach. The walk wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the terrible heat and humidity, but my iPod and cold tea eased the pain a bit. When I finally walked up to the coast, I couldn't believe the amazing coastline we have in Kyushuu!

Fukuma Seaside Park

It was a Sunday, but the beach wasn't very busy (I guess the stretch of beach was pretty long, and everyone was spread out). Many people were surfing in this area. There were lots of shops that offered surfing lessons, banana boat rides, and other marine sports. I got tired of walking around eventually, and found myself a nice little cafe that looked like a house.

Cafe Caprice, Fukuma Beach

The cafe had a little garden / patio that faced the beach. I sat there for a few minutes under the umbrella to relax a bit. The owner was really nice! I asked the owner if I could order the "special latte" from the menu without any whipped cream (it was supposed to come with whipped cream and ice cream), and he said: "OK, I"ll just charge you for a regular latte then! You can have the ice cream for free. ^_^" About 3 mins later, the owner came back with my latte, with 2 HUGE SCOOPS of ice cream in it! I was sooo happy! I took a sip of my latte and just sat with my eyes closed for a bit. The sea breeze was the best air conditioner, and the waves were the best background music. Everything was perfect, except he wasn't here.

"It's so pretty here!!! Where are you?" I wrote to him in a text message.

"Ohhh. Really? I'm kind of busy." He replied.

Duh, I know you are. "Come over come over come over! See..!! It's so nice here! You can make it to watch the sunset with me!!!" I said, along with a picture. I always liked whining to him, because I knew he would spoil me. He would never say no.

But I knew I put him on the spot. Typing. Silence. Typing. Silence. Typing. This repeated on my screen about 20 times before I finally got a reply.

"Ok, I can come in 30mins. Wait for me - don't go anywhere...!"

"Yay! Just in time to give me a ride home after we watch the sunset. ^_^" I replied.

He didn't really ask me where I was, probably because he knew from my check-in on Facebook. And as per instructed, I didn't go anywhere. I just sat round the patio, read a book, and took pictures of everything around me. 

Mint garden in the patio at the cafe

I wonder if the cafe owner thought I was some sort of a tourist travel blogger, or he just felt kind of sorry for me for being by myself on such a lovely afternoon. "Free service, for  you!" The owner said with a smile on his face as he puts a mango smoothie next to me. He was such a nice guy! I offered to pay for the drink because it was so delicious, but he just shook his head and smiled and said: "だいじょうぶよ (daijoubu yo)!" So I took a big sip and relaxed...

...I must have fallen asleep. I didn't even realized he messaged me to check if I was still there. I jumped a little when I heard someone come through the door just now.

---

I guess he was kind of happy to see me, but I can see that he was also kind of upset that I made him come out here. And he is right - he knows I can get my way with him, so I deliberately act difficult to catch his attention. And you know what? Every time he gives it to me. I'm sure he got into a huge fight with her to come out though, so I'm not sure why he does this every time. I guess draining each other emotionally is how we have learned to deal with each other.

I didn't say anything else to him after he came. We just sat next to each other and stared at the ocean. I'm not sure how much time has past, but the sun finally set. It was quite magnificent.

"I'll take you home." He finally said. I didn't put up a fight. I just followed after him as he walked out of the cafe. He dropped me off at home, and I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

These words never came out of my mouth, but I guess he felt it...

Thank you for such a wonderful day... and, how I wish... that you really were mine.

我的貴人

在我的生命裏出現了很多貴人。


有一個人給我機會認識這家公司。沒有她，我跟本沒有機會來到日本。

有幾個朋友，總在我不安的時候，不理時差陪伴我。

也有朋友，沒特別的時候不會太聯絡，但有事的時候，二話不説，兩翼插刀拯救我。

還有那一些默默在替我擔心的...  我知道你們對我的有愛這麽多！

（你們可知道你是誰啊！）



最後，讓我受傷的你們，給我教訓。謝謝你讓我變得更勇敢，挑戰我的界限。沒有你，我也不能夠成長。所以，你也是我的貴人。

我會努力，不讓你們失望的！^_^

☆　送你們美麗的沖縄日落吧~! ☆

追夢

近來看到很多關於“追夢”的文章，我也胡亂寫一下吧！

每一個人做每一個決定，都有它的代價。這個代價不是每個人都可以付出的。如果你不故後果，不考慮別人，這是任性，不是追夢。你去用你的青春去流浪，你有想過你的家人是一直在等你回家嗎？你確定他們可以等得到嗎？你同一個時間也有其他只有這個年紀才會有的機會去做的事。可能你身邊的人有自己的家庭，也有美滿的事業。你能保證你去“追夢”不會放棄了其他機會嗎？

有很多人都說“追夢”最幸福是因爲它能夠給你其他工作不能給的。這個真的很可笑；難道一個蘋果能給你的，跟一只橙能給的會是一樣嗎？

還有，追夢需要的不只是勇氣而已。清兵胸膛也有一個“勇”字，他們也是犧牲的多。只是勇氣，未免把事情太簡單了吧！他們在背後的努力，他們的眼淚，你是不會發現的。所以，也不用這麽把這件事情英雄化。



追夢，真的沒有特別好羨慕。你看到的，是人家嘗盡辛酸苦辣之後的結果。他們的付出，你永遠不會看到。

任性的代價

一年前，就像今天一樣，每天晚上把自己哭累了就睡覺了。來了以後，我才發現其實以前自己有多幸福！我好想家人，好想他。每一天都在倒數回家的日子。

但偏偏在這個時候我遇上理你。你像風一樣，不知道從哪裏吹進了我的生活。遇上你以後，心情變得不一樣，每天都在想我們會什麽時候見面。我做的決定也開始變得沒有理由。可是這也沒關係；反正你進入了我的世界之後，我整個人都開心起來。其他的，我也不管這麽多了。

誰知道這只是一個夢而已? 你是毒藥，把我麻醉了。我中了毒，對你養成了依賴後，你就抽身離去。你真的是很殘忍呢！

三百六十五天後的我，原地踏步，沒有前進過。只是今天多了兩道不知道從哪裏來的傷痕。這是他們講的成熟，還是任性的代價?

9 Months in Fukuoka!

It's been 9 months since I left for Fukuoka! I seriously can't believe how fast time has gone...! Every week goes by so quickly, and the weekends even quicker... before I know it, another month has gone by (and I didn't update my blog like I meant to)!

I have established a pretty good routine now for everyday life things. I go to work, I work out, I hang out with friends and co-workers... It feels like I've finally figured out how to live my life here... (I know! It took 9 months...! Isn't that ridiculous????) 

One of the major changes is that I FINALLY got a decent bike. I've been going for rides at least 4 times a week! There's a park in the middle(ish) of the city called Ohori Park (see my previous post in April about hanami), which is a 6km ride from where I live. I like to bike there because there's a huge lake in the middle of it. There's also a Starbucks there. So if I want to read a book, I bike to Ohori. If I want to study, I bike to Ohori. If I just want to sit somewhere, I bike to Ohori. Getting the exercise biking there is great! Being able to eat a slice of chocolate cake without feeling guilty afterwards is just a bonus. ^_^

The lake at Ohori Park at night. Sorry the picture was taken with my cell phone camera..!

I also finally got a decent sofa bed. Sleeping above the ground is great!!! And now my back doesn't hurt anymore, and I sleep better. I don't know why it took me so long to get proper furniture to sleep on... And now I can ACTUALLY have visitors!!! 

Towards the end of the month I am starting up my project management courses again. This time I am doing two courses at the same time. On top of that, I am going to try and take the Japanese Language Proficiency Test to see if I have actually learned anything from being here for almost a year... So the next couple of months I am going to be a hermit crab and staying at home... well... maybe I will have time for a trip to Tokyo or Kansai in November... (there's always time for traveling, hahaha ^^")

Oh, I've been reading this book called 女朋友﹐ 男朋友... the story is kind of heavy and it reflects the 無奈 in people's lives. I find it quite realistic. Reading it makes me want to cry, and to be honest I am quite afraid of the ending... hahaha... 

And last but not least, I've received so many messages, emails, and post cards from my friends this month. I just want to thank you guys for thinking of me...! I really do miss you guys. *group hug*

To end off, here are some pictures of autumn in Japan!

A field full of cosmos in Nokoshima (an island just off of Fukuoka)

Leaves are falling..!! It reminds me of home...

A nice fall day to wander around...!

Bittersweet Goodbye

I recently learned that one of my closest friend is moving away.

I know how exciting it must be, after all, I made the exact same decision a year ago to leave home and to move on to a new chapter in my life. I am really glad that he is stepping out of his comfort zone, following his heart to do what he truly wants. I know it's not easy.

I am a little bit sad though, because I realize that home will never be what it used to be. Maybe I was too naive in thinking that everything back home will stay the same until I go back. Everyone will still be waiting for me. My family, my friends... sure, people go on and do new things, but they are all still going to be around right...? Right...? Damn it, I AM THE ONLY ONE who can leave and come back whenever I wanted...! No one else was ever allowed to leave me...!!! I was supposed to go home whenever I got sick of being on my own, and go back to see all my friends whom I love so much...!!!

But the clock is ticking. Time doesn't wait for anyone.

People are always chasing after their dreams and desires. Some time ago, you crossed paths, then you walked together for a while, and you don't know when your paths will split again. That's the interesting part about life, isn't it? I guess it's all part of growing up.

So, here's a bittersweet goodbye to you. Good luck my dear, and chase after your dreams! I know you have made the right decision. Hopefully you will invite me to your wedding. ^_^

And, thank you for teaching me to love and treasure those around me, right here, right now, because I don't know what will happen tomorrow.

See you soon!!!